what's nice about unemployment
one thing that's proving surprisingly nice(?) about unemployment is that I am spending more of my time in my neighborhood. I'm home a lot, which means working with whatever I have within a 15-block radius. I can't just pop by trader joe's or whole foods after work anymore (well, I stopped being able to do that in february, when we all moved to a new office in midtown), so I've had to be a little more resourceful. could I take the train somewhere? yes of course. is it worth the trip and the effort for a few small things? usually not. so I've been swinging by the local produce carts for bananas (must track down shallots next...) and visiting local spots for lunch. I went to the bodega to see how much beans cost (because yes, I too have been struck by the big bean agenda). I stopped by the sandwich shop and observed all the hospital workers taking their lunch breaks. I've lived on this block for five years but never felt very settled. and now all these daytime outings are making me feel just a little more embedded into the fabric of my neighborhood.
I'm also appreciating the greater scheduling flexibility. I joined a volunteer orientation in the middle of the day on tuesday! there was another person in the orientation who had also been laid off, reminding me once again that right now unemployment is ubiquitous – we're literally all here. I like that at least some of us are turning to volunteer work.
the last nice thing I'll mention for now is libraries. these last few years I've found myself going to physical libraries less and instead just relying on digital services like libby for ebooks. but lately I've been enjoying library spaces for so many reasons.
one, to have somewhere to work. I get the benefit of being in a new environment, outside of my apartment, with just enough external stimulus and a sense of body doubling to keep my brain engaged.
two, to be around other people – and not just coworkers. there's a lot of masking you have to do with coworkers, don't you think? sometimes it's just nice to be around your local community, literal neighbors of all backgrounds and ages, just existing together in parallel, and not have to feign mutual interest or perform conversation all the while.
three, library services, especially since I no longer have access to the office printer. but also I like seeing people use the free computers. some people read the news, others watch youtube. some are there to enjoy the air conditioning, or use the restrooms to tidy up. some of the teenagers play video games. I like that "going to the library" is something that is a part of people's days.
four, library programs! I like seeing what's going on in the neighborhood, from language classes to book clubs (this month: fahrenheit 451) to workshops and seminars of all kinds.
five, discovering new books to read! and they're right there for you to check out!
I mentioned previously that I took a break from reading in february because, given my imminent layoff, I felt like I needed to dial in. as I said to friends: no distractions, no escapes, no dissociation, and certainly no happily ever after stories that might demotivate me from existing in the world as it is today. but I realized the other week that my black and white approach to pleasure... may not be the most healthy or helpful thing for me. so I let myself browse the stacks after my work session last weekend and borrowed a couple books I'd been meaning to read. I'm not sure I'm totally in the mood or frame of mind yet, but it's nice to see these books in my house, reminding me that they're there if I change my mind.
so those are today's positive, peaceful thoughts on unemployment. I feel like a small green leaf that has somehow blown into the ocean. I am drenched but I am still floating on the waves. every once in a while the sun comes out and I see how it sparkles on the water and I think, "I am okay."