to demystify the process
I got laid off on february 1st. they gave me a month of runway, and today is officially my last day of employment. it's extremely anticlimactic, for a whole host of reasons ranging from "I've been watching things fall apart for the last 18 months" to "almost all of my colleagues have already been laid off and/or moved on." what is there left to mourn?
I've felt frozen for a little while now – too burned out to aggressively job search, too unwilling to imagine starting another full time job in this industry, in this lifetime. my friend andy sends me job listings on linkedin, and I feel the muscles in my back start to tighten in anxiety. I never thought I could freelance because I'm not much for networking... but now, it appeals more than it ever has before.
in order to feel like I'm doing something, creating momentum (the year of the fire horse and all that), I've been reaching out to people – "not much for networking", eh? – to learn from them, hear their voices, pressure test the strength of my professional support network.
it feels nice to be connected to others. I'm getting to peek behind the curtain, discovering just how much posturing goes on in people's careers, how things are never as shiny and good as they seem. everyone tells me that it sucks going through it, but things will turn out fine.
lexi said that her reasons for going freelance all those years ago were similar to mine – she wanted time to find out the next thing, and project work gave her the flexibility to figure that out. maybe I'll highlight some of the most valuable things she shared:
I've never done biz dev to get projects – always just reached out to people and it's all been lucky timing... but I posted on linkedin recently & got a lot of messages from old colleagues & friends... there's no taboo now in saying, "my role was eliminated, I'm open to work / freelance / project based, please reach out." don't be hesitant to reach out to everyone & let them know you're on the market.
in-house, people get stoked for different things. the stuff agencies would find boring, they're the biggest cheerleaders for. so you have to remove the agency bias of "it wasn't the best creative idea..." they care about other things – if it was effective, making a process better, working well cross-functionally, helping align people... it's just a different lens on impact.
try to be a sponge about how a company works – understand what makes people successful there. at [redacted] it was important to get stuff done quickly and be loud and demonstrative about it. I wasn't used to that – I would always just let the work speak for itself. there were lots of intangibles that I didn't get... no one ever demonstrated it to me in any agency I worked at. but you should just be able to ask your manager: what makes people successful? what should I look out for? just play the game – don't shy away from it.
helpful, right? there's a lot of work to be done on my end. scrutinizing what I've accomplished, reframing my impact, sharpening my portfolio, considering my network, reaching out, building a system to manage ongoing communications... I mean, honestly, it's a lot.
but I am finding it useful to demystify the process. every conversation I have is helping me break all these big steps into smaller pieces that I can wrap my head around. and I'm also starting to pick up on "conventions" (talk to HR! talk to recruiters! talk to every person you've ever worked with!), as well as narrowing in on more specific questions to ask the next person. (like how, exactly, do you keep track of all the people you're reaching out to? and how do you follow up again & again & again?)
an hour later I spoke with leslie, who got to brass tacks right away. I've been worrying that there's not much demand for someone at my level, but she said that everyone wants someone they can hand something over to and not have to worry about again... and who's not so high level that they can't afford the rate. I've been at the same title for the past six years, somewhat by design, though now it makes me a little self-conscious... but maybe staying in place isn't so bad after all...?
two and a half things that stood out:
the freelance mentality is that the work will show up, sometimes from places you least expect. it's either a feast or a famine. but it'll appear. and the people who always said you were so smart – they may not show up for you, and that will be tough, but remember it's not about you. people are always distracted by their own things.
you have to leave the house. everyday. take advantage of the time you have right now – go do the things you didn't have time to do before. pick up the interests. you're at your best when you're interested in things & talking about things from an engaged place.
she also dropped the name of someone I could probably cold contact, told me what I could do to appeal – the type of things I could say, the angle I could take. it felt odd to talk about it aloud, the overt social engineering, but she's right – different people respond to different things, and I'd be silly not to acknowledge it.
so, that is today's labor. I understand why people say looking for work is a full time job. it's not just about finding the job, tailoring your resume, writing a cover letter – it's all the intangible things, as lexi says. the network, the introspection, the relational intelligence. sounds tiring... but it's probably better to build the skill sooner rather than later.