if it's mine
first round interview is in the midst of being scheduled. it's an in-person interview which I haven't experienced since before COVID. how did I used to do it without mental notes & reminders in front of me?! I'm nervous. I'm just so forgetful sometimes, and my thoughts are a jumble, and I ramble until I can figure out my point...
I was looking up reasonable accommodations1, since my talent acquisition contact brought it up in her email. in the process I came across some advice on a reddit thread:
you are allotted X amount of time for your interview. I have learned that I do not have to rush to answer right after the question is asked. repeat it to yourself, develop the answer in your head, take a deep breath, and speak slowly. even if it takes you 3 minutes to begin your answer, it is your time.
isn't that good? I often jump to respond right away, and if I'm lucky I have a semi-relevant answer right on the tip of my tongue, but if not, I end up floundering for fifteen seconds while I try to orient myself again. so even reading that bit of advice calmed my nerves a bit. it's my time, too.
I think a big part of this job search journey is about learning to become more self-assured. I'm lucky that I don't need to be desperate for a job, any job!, even if the market is weird right now and I feel a sense of scarcity. I can be calm and okay.
just the other day I was looking at my bank account after a large one-off transaction. I thought to myself, it's been a while since I've seen the numbers dip so low. today the balance ticked back up, along with a timely message from my dad:
guard against anything that will make you weak physically, emotionally or spiritually, because while you're weak, you make wrong or bad decisions. money is one of those good/bad "anything". that's a life experience I've learned.
I'm taking these things as signs that I can walk forward in peace and confidence. I don't need to be anxious about money (...and that's on privilege!). I don't need to be anxious about having the right answers at an interview. I don't need to be anxious about being likable enough. if it's for me, it's mine. if it's not, it was never going to be mine.
I didn't request anything in particular, only asked for more information on what to expect for this next round. but maybe I will follow up later and see if there are specific work or project experiences they'd like hear about, so that I can have a minute to think on the most relevant examples.↩